The undone and the divine

I got a cuddle from my dad, but I generally still feel quite awful. I’m stuck and numb and I just don’t want to deal with anything right now. I don’t know, I’m just tired of everything and everyone right now.

17:38

Laying in my parents bed so I can get a cuddle when one of them gets home.
Completely miserable right now.

16:04

I just want to sit around and be sad right now. I’m not in the mood for anything. I don’t know. Just ugh at things right now :(

21:02

Do I kill myself or kill everyone around me?

00:16

I can practically feel each segment of my brain and each small piece of sanity I own, slowly breaking down or self-destructing. I’m going insane and I can’t stop it, but I don’t have the strength to deal with this yet again. I’m sick and I’m lost and I just don’t know what to do.

23:13

01:06

20:45

16:25

00:18"Life seemed too long a time to have to stick around, a huge span of time in which one was required to tap-dance and smile and be Great! And be Happy! And be Amazing! And be Precocious! I was tired of life by the time I was sixteen. I was tired of being too much, of being too intense, of being too manic. I was tired of people, and I was incredibly too tired of myself." — Marya Hornbacher, Wasted